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Almost there. [11.14.11 @ 7:06am]
[ mood | calm ]

Read more...Collapse )

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In which Melly gets hit by a car... [9.16.11 @ 8:59am]
[ mood | calm ]

the gory detailsCollapse )

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More on the Pink thing. [8.19.11 @ 12:17pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

We've known since our NT ultrasound that the child I'm carrying is genetically a girl.

In the following weeks (most recently yesterday) at least two people have *asked* Sultry the gender and then procceeded to tell her that we can't be *SURE* she's a GIRL. Then WHY ASK???

We've had two ultrasounds and the Amnio from Hell. We damn well know that she's a girl.

Yes, we're well aware that could change in the future -- she could decide that the gender she was born with isn't her true one. We'll deal with it when/if the time comes but at this moment in time she's a baby girl and wearing pink and playing with dolls isn't going to damage her.

I've known and worked with enough children over the years to learn that they are born with their own individual personality and the best way to screw them up is to try and change it. Raising The Demon Child was enough to shatter my illusion that if you shove enough dolls and dresses at a tomboy they'll change into a princess.

Th'Boy had a baby doll he played with for awhile and his favorite pj's at age five were his sister's Barbie ones. He also loved stuffed animals. I think we can all agree that he grew up into a reasonably normal teenager.


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Registry and wishlist [8.19.11 @ 11:05am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

We have a BRU registry, it's Registry #: 60292598. There are a lot of things it claims are unavailable but it lies -- they come up if you search for them. I also have a wishlist at Chapters under my email address. (first name _ L at

Yes, there is a lot of PINK in her future. We've waited too darn long for this baby girl to not go pink and frilly. She's also going to have a million dolls and possibly some Barbies. Neither of these things caused us lasting damage as children and Th'Boy fully intends to counteract our Girly influences with his Hot Wheels and Lego. :)

I'm trying not to buy too many "young" toys. I know I'm going to be given/lent a lot of baby stuff so when I was picking toys I tried *really* hard to choose stuff she'd play with over the longest possible period of time.

There are a couple of Fisher Price things I'm looking for that *aren't on the registry/wishlist: Peek-a-Boo blocks (which have been foolishly discontinued) -- they're about 2 inch square plastic blocks with stuff inside them. I lucked into a set the other day but I still want MORE and I'm also looking for one of the vintage balls with the chimes inside. They had a clear section with swans inside that would rock as the ball was rocked.

None of this means that you *must* buy us anything but people have been asking for the info so I figured I ought to put it up. The shower will be sometime in Oct/Nov, we'll set a date as soon as we figure out what to do about Th'Boy's birthday this year.


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*gulp* [8.18.11 @ 2:05pm]
[ mood | pensive ]

I just sent my older sister an email. You know, the one who barely talks to me and for the first time ever *didn't* send flowers on Mother's Day this year. I'm working on my list for the baby shower and felt I ought to check with her before I gave out her email address.

I've been avoiding the List for a looooooooong time. Stuff like this kind of pokes at the sore spot that houses Much Younger Me. The little girl who would invite 20 kids to a party and have three show up. It's awfully awkward, especially nowadays when I haven't seen a lot of you in real life for ages (totally my fault, depression is evil).

I finished the Registry of Doom at Babies'R'Us and have a Chapters wishlist a mile long (ooooooh, the *toys*). It's amazing what you can do when you're avoiding something else. This stuff is harder than you'd think.


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Things I have and things I don't. [8.2.11 @ 8:53pm]
[ mood | happy ]

In the next few days we're going to start tackling the horror that is the Nursery-to-be. We need a place to put all the baby things I've already been given (seriously, it's CRAZY).

So far I've been given: a baby bath, a Bumbo (chair), nursing pads, clothes, blankets, an activity table, a walker and much more is on the way.

In the meantime I'm on the lookout for: chenille fabric (can be old beadspreads) and faux cherry and magnolia branches. If you spot any please let me know. :)


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Whoops... [8.1.11 @ 1:06pm]
[ mood | happy ]

I just realized I haven't posted in months!

Quick update:
I'm at 22 weeks and three days. Due Dec. 1st.
It's a girl. (the other embryo stopped developing at about 5 weeks)
She's moving around now and I can sometimes feel her on the outside as well as inside.
Everything is perfectly normal.
I've been miserable -- anemia, borderline gestational diabetes, morning sickness that lasted all day...
I'm feeling much better now.
We're deliriously happy, except for Th'Boy who is rather disappointed to not be getting a brother.


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News you might have missed [4.13.11 @ 10:01pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

I just realized I only posted the news on FB.

There is a heartbeat.

There is a second sac that was a bit smaller and *might* have a heartbeat.

It's still veryvery early but I'm really and truly pregnant now.

There will be more news in two weeks. Hopefully there will still be a heartbeat (or two!).

I am more than a little freaked and so very happy.

I'm also incredibly stressed.


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A little bit pregnant. [3.30.11 @ 1:29pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

Ok, so after more than a week of sitting on the news I'm coming clean -- so far, so good.

My blood results aren't quite where they'd like them to be but my numbers are going up and we're very hopeful.

Next Thursday I go in for a scan to see if we can find a heartbeat. It's a little early so I have to be prepared for there to be nothing but I don't think I'd be able to handle waiting until the Monday. It's going to make for an interesting MPCG.

So... yeah... kinda pregnant. Let's hope it sticks!!!


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Ow. [3.25.11 @ 6:25pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

I've been in varying degrees of pain agony since early Tuesday morning. The last couple of days have been the worst -- at some points it's nearly as bad as when I miscarried but mostly it's like the worst cramps I've ever had.

I've been all over the 'net including the website for the medication I'm taking and abdominal pain is listed as a side effect. My Doctor, on the other hand, says it has nothing to do with the progesterone.

Oh really? It starts within an hour of taking the medication and tapers off throughout the day and it has nothing to do with the medication??? Your logic is flawed sir.

I'm only allowed Tylenol (which does nothing) and have been practically living in the bathtub because that seems to be the only thing that eases it (but I have to be careful not to let the water get too hot). In short, I want to spend the next few days in a coma.

In any case, I just have to tough it out until Monday. We'll have a better idea by then how things are going. If all goes well the ultrasound to find the heartbeat will be the day I leave for MPCG. I hope!

I don't know if I can do it but I'm trying. I want this baby so badly.


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Fun times [3.20.11 @ 5:12am]
[ mood | hopeful ]

Ok, long overdue entry. Welcome to the wacky world of IVF...

Cut for length and pokey bits.Collapse )

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The Fat Lady Singeth. [2.20.11 @ 1:29pm]
My last IUI was a bust so it looks like I'll be getting IVF for my birthday. Yay.

I've gotten over being terrified of the proccess. Now I'm just terrified of multiples. Or that it doesn't work.


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Is it over yet? [2.1.11 @ 6:59pm]
[ mood | distressed ]

Today has sucked ass.

Woke up to the sound of my lovely wife reaming out Th'Boy. Y'see, I couldn't find my iPod *anywhere* last night and I was pretty darn sure the kid had something to do with it so I asked her to ask him about when she got up to see him off to school. He wouldn't answer her. Finally he admitted to taking it but it was another few minutes before he told us it was in his bed. In the meanwhile we thought he'd broken it or something and was trying to cover his ass.

Morning was ok except that I had no bank card (Th'Boy lost it. Again.) and had to bum money off Mom. And the cat wouldn't come out of the closet. And I was late meeting Mom for my lift. And I forgot my Opus and had to borrow *more* money for bus fare.

My second accupuncture appointment went well. Except that I have a quarter-sized bruise on my stomach and my ear bled. Ick.

Got home and there was NO BOY. He was told on no uncertain terms to come STRAIGHT home. While I was in the process of trying to find him my lovely wife called nearly in tears. Her favorite Aunt died in her sleep while on vacation in Florida. She was only 63 and as far as we no had no health issues.

I finally managed to find out that Th'Boy had taken his girlfriend home in spite of the fact that he has been forbidden to see her outside of school because he did the same thing on Friday (in spite of being grounded) and made us over half an hour late to meet the bus up to camp. I got to have a lovely conversation with the girlfriend's mother in which I explained that Th'Boy was absolutely not allowed over there until further notice but that it had nothing to do with her daughter who (whom?) we adore.

So yeah, not a good day.


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Meep! [1.25.11 @ 8:18am]
[ mood | nervous ]

In a few hours I'm going to pay  someone to stick NEEDLES in various parts of my anatomy. I don't like needles.

I have a new reason to hope very hard that I catch in this cycle (or the next one but I'm pretty sure the timing won't work) -- we're moving on to IVF in March.

IVF means a LOT more needles.

The flip side to IVF (and the only thing besides the potential baby that's keeping me from freaking out about it) is that I've been told I can donate any leftover embryos (embryoes?) to help someone else get pregnant. I met a woman at fall camp who wouldn't be able to get pregnant without exactly that sort of help. Knowing I could help her makes the process feel even mor worthwhile.

But not any less scary.


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Eep. [1.13.11 @ 3:53pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

I have two, *maybe* three cycles before The Due Date That Isn't (a.k.a. the day before my birthday).

If you have any doubt about just how very desperate I am let me put them to rest:

I just scheduled an acupuncture appointment.

I am going to let someone put needles in me. I cannot begin to tell you how much I hate and fear needles. The only thing that freaks me out more is a dentist (thanks to the sadist who used to make up cavities and was stingy with the freezing).

They can't take me before the 25th so I have TWELVE days to fret over it.


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Need to get this off my chest: [1.7.11 @ 5:51am]
[ mood | depressed ]

No one can hurt you quite like your family.

We went over to Mom's Christmas day. Things were going really well -- gatherings at Mom's are much nicer now that my brother makes a point of not being there (and I think Mom makes a point of keeping us apart).

You may remember I've been struggling a bit lately. Ok, maybe more than a bit but I'd done a pretty good job of patching myself together. Up until my Mom unwittingly shredded me again.

She told Th'Boy to hand something "to Auntie Mel."

Auntie. Mel. Over and over for the rest of the time we were there.

I haven't been Auntie Mel for *years*. Granted he mostly calls me Mel but I identify as his parent and Mom is usually pretty good about referring to me as such.

It hurt. It hurt a lot. I am his PARENT.


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The Depths of Despair [12.20.10 @ 9:12pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Cut for much whining...Collapse )

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insert witty title here. [12.13.10 @ 7:59pm]
[ mood | calm ]

I think I might actually survive Christmas if I can make it through the next week. We're going to do the usual tear-around-town-Christmas-Eve-to-buy-gifts thing but when don't we? If Sultry get reimbursed for her Ottawa expenses and the insurance company is quick with the Med receipts we had to resubmit it will be an incredible Christmas. If not it will still be an awesome one. We're slowly climbing out of the hole all the years of Drama put us in.

I'm counting down the days to the end of this cycle and doing my usual mental fidgiting. DivaDaddy was particularly incredible this time around. Having to be at the clinic at 8am SUCKS. It sucks even more when you have the amount of drama going on that he had. The clinic is closed for three weeks as of this weekend so we both get a cycle off. Not too happy about that -- time is ticking away and I have a feeling March is going to be pretty damn rough if I don't have something to focus on besides the fact that I was supposed to be giving birth. It's not like i can forget -- one of Sultry's work friends and one of the Playgroup moms are both due a couple of weeks after I was.

Th'Boy is *still* doing his homework! And he lost his bus pass for the first time this weekend! And he only lost one backpack, a key, a glove, a couple of sweaters and a nearly empty wallet (in the pocket of one of the sweaters) since the beginning of the school year. This is HUGE!!! Normally the list would be much longer. Of course there's also the blanket, sweater, hat and gloves that he forgot at OWL in Ottawa but we could have those back if I could remember to tell someone he left them there...

So, that's how I am. How are you???


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Someone up there has a *really* sick sense of humour. [11.22.10 @ 7:09pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

It's not enough that my wife is gone for a month or that our latest attempt at getting pregnant failed or that I have friends in various degrees of pain.

Nope, that's not enough for me to have on my plate. You know what I got as a side dish? A message from my Dad.



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Crappy, crappy day. [11.16.10 @ 8:05pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Had my first nightmare in god knows how long (downtown blew up) and woke up too early.

Morning went ok up until I got to the store where I buy the food for playgroup. There's a cashier there who's sort of new and she doesn't like me. I have no idea why -- I'm always very nice when I go in there and I apologize when I do things like take the papaya out of the bag with the watermelon so that it doesn't end up as mush. Today she was passing my stuff through and I asked her (nicely, with a smile) if she'd please do the watermelon next. She picked it up and THUMPED it down on the scale then shoved it over to me. I'm not used to having people hate me when I haven't given them a reason and I really think she does.

I got to playgroup to find that the large, heavy, barely braced against the wall puppet theatre was back in the snackroom. The thing has to way at least 40 lbs and although we haven't had any close calls I *know* a baby could pull it over. I had moved it out last week *and* spoken to the DRE about it and I thought she had agreed with me that it was too dangerous for the room. Much later in the day I found out she was the one who asked that it be put back in the room!

Someone left a truly rancid diaper in the garbage in the bathroom. It had been there since SUNDAY. The smell was so bad one of the Moms and I nearly threw up.

Playgroup itself was small but good.

I got home to find that the dog had been locked in Th'Boy's room *and* she had diarrhea. I've been taking her out about once an hour (or more) since I got home.

I had to book a ticket to Ottawa in Coach for Th'Boy (who was supposed to be at camp this weekend). I am in Business class on the Company's dime. I think there will be space for him on the way back.

The second or third time I took the dog out I slipped on something as I was bending and turning to pick up the leash and I fell down a few of the stairs. I still hurt.

Th'Boy came home and I had to make him throw out the "shield" (a hubcap, sponge and duct tape) he'd been working on for a long time. I had asked him to find a place for it days ago and warned him it would be tossed but falling down the stairs because of it was the last straw. He cried and I felt like an ogre.

So yeah, a crappy day and Sultry's in Ottawa. I'm working my way through a tub of Haagen-Dazs (new flavour-- dark chocolate with raspberry swirls) and wishing I knew if I was pregnant because if I'm not I could at least have a drink (or three).


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